University students enraged over stairs

A group of students at Pensacola City University, with the help of a number of professors and alumni, have petitioned the administration to remove the railings and put up walls down the stairways in university buildings. A spokesman for the coalition of safety within safety issued the following statement.

This university, like all Ivy league schools, would be profound if not for the depravity and morally void existence of the patriarchy who built this institution. We believe that providing all students, regardless of race, creed, color, sexuality or political affiliation excluding of course, anyone with suspected ties to conservative, or libertarian organizations is the only way we will reach a utopian society on our campus. This is why we ask in our latest petition to the board of directors that you remove the sexually bias and outdated railings and replace them with the modern walls we need. We ask this because a number of female, trans-female, and newly-female students fear for their lives because they have caught on that men, predominately straight men, have been looking up their skirts as they walk up the stairs for years. This we will not stand for as it is a threat to the very survival of the feminist and gender revolution, and I’m told that most women don’t like it but we don’t care about that, what’s important here is our agenda and our agenda alone. We ask that the walls be built by female, trans-female or newly-female only construction crews who won’t try to put any up the skirt spy holes in the walls, on this we will not bend.

In reply to the coalition of safety within safety P.C.U. board members stated.

We are happy to look into their request. We just hope that for the sake of all the students and facility that they might try to relax a little bit, which is highly unlikely, but we are sure that they’ll probably be complaining to the board of their nursing homes by the time we find an all female, or trans-female, or whatever the hell a newly-female is, construction crew.