Costume party gone horribly wrong
Five men were attacked on their way to a costume party in the small town of Sunnyville Wednesday evening. Local police stopped the five party-goers under suspicion of being members of the terrorist organization ISIS. According to police chief Shultz,
“we noticed five men carrying weapons dressed in black and wearing black masks, with ISIS being the major threat to our country that it is, we realized right then and there that they were a crack squad about to pull off a terrorist attack in our peaceful town.”
The small town of Sunnyville is home to 1207 souls with two stop signs and a supermarket, why the police on duty that evening thought their small town would be a target for ISIS can only be answered by chief Shultz,
“Sunnyville is the perfect spot to pull off a terrorist attack because no one would suspect it, no one would notice ISIS terrorists dressed in their terrorist outfits except for trained police officers like us, they even walked by a crowd of people before we noticed them, those people are lucky we did. Sunnyville is home to the worlds largest ball of twine, we suspected the terrorists were on their way to destroy that monument to our great nation which would strike a major blow against America, we just couldn’t let that happen.”
Without asking the five party goers a single question local police chief Charlie Shultz called in the entire Sunnyville police force to assist him, after the other patrol car arrived the four police officers exited their cruisers, told the five men to halt, and began firing upon them with rubber bullets until they were knocked to the ground. Once on the ground, the five men were pepper sprayed and tased rendering them nearly unconscious and begging for mercy incoherently, chief Shultz stated,
“after we tased those punks they were screaming in their terrorist gibberish for mercy so we just threw them in the back of our cruisers and hauled them to jail.”
When the FBI arrived it was discovered that the five men were actually 14-year-old boys dressed as ninjas on their way to a friend’s house for a costume party, the alleged weapons they had were plastic toy katana swords. The Sunnyville police department is being sued for 1.5 million dollars, chief Shultz and the three other officers who took part in the incident have been put on paid leave for two weeks. Chief Shultz still believes he stopped a terrorist attack stating,
“kids or not I bet cha if the FBI had done their job they would’ve found c-4 or something on those punks, I have no regrets, I was just doing my job.”