US and North Korean leaders prepare for boxing match

After recent tweets and UN meetings, already escalated tensions went horribly awry. In a move reminiscent of Cold War era sporting events, North Korea and the United States will send representatives to engage in a boxing match.

During an insane Twitter war, President Trump and Supreme Leader Kim Jung Un have agreed to a highly anticipated square off.

Rules are not certainly in place yet, but one which is simply stated in a Nuclear Arms Treaty:

“Leave the bombs at home…”

This rule, since the start, has been ignored for the majority of 2017, but world leaders are pressuring the US and North Korean governments to abide by it.

After world scrutiny, the leaders have agreed to a fist fight. “Fat Man” (Kim Jong Un) and “Little Boy” (Donald Trump) have decided to take the gloves off and actually fight like men with gloves on. Current Las Vegas odds score the fight at even with the draw at -10:-10.

After many trainers, including majors from Japan, scored the fight much lower odds, the UN decided to step in and increase sanctions on North Korea making it much harder for Kim to train.

As a result of the sanctions Donald decided to get pumpkin spice lattes with his wife, she had to hold it for him cause his gloves didn’t fit his small hands. Everbast is showing its patriotic spirit by bringing in special engineers to figure out how to create gloves for Trump’s malformed hands. Trump’s advisors have also brought in Alt-Right leader Richard Spencer to show the President how to take a punch. Trump said of Spencer:

“Oh he’s been great he a fine person. And nobody knows how to take a punch like he does. I’ve been watching his documentaries on YouTube. He’s stupendous.”

Richie Spence decided to waste no time teaching the Duck how to duck.

Kim “Little Boy” Jong Un has taken to social media to proclaim an easy victory:

“I will drop that umpa-loompa faster than he dropped deferment papers during Vietnam.”

Prepared by John Grischam