Facebook Surveys Collect Data for CIA

Chairman Smith of the CIA thanked the developers of ‘quirky’ personality tests for social media platforms such as Facebook, for gathering indispensable information from the vast amount of people who take them. Chairman Smith said, “we at the CIA owe you our gratitude, the tests you develop are fun, easy and most importantly get people to answer petty to personal questions about themselves, all of which helps us to better file a citizens intimate details into our vast underground computer system.”

We’ve all seen these tests on our pages, you know the ones, tests such as ‘what era do you belong to” or “what were you in a past life“, there are so many, little did we know they were collecting and storing information on us from the get-go. As a developer for a major ‘fun’ survey page expresses in his response “we are grateful to help our government, we purposely made our surveys and tests look fun knowing the whole time each answer would tell us more about the user than they would ever expect, and the more of these they take the more we know about them, in all honesty we know more about our users than they know about themselves.”

Chairman Smith expressed his gratitude saying, “I am awarding the Career Intelligence Medal for your outstanding work, I trust that you will continue to work hard for your government with every test and survey you publish, as they are of great value to us, I salute you for your valiant contribution to your country.” When one of the test developers asked about the money the CIA owed him he was quickly silenced and his whereabouts are unknown. A spokesman for the CIA explained the situation as such, “a certain developer stepped out of his league so we gave him a paid vacation, but we have already found seventy-three applicants to take his place as we’re pretty sure he won’t be back.” He added, “if you want to make it in the business of a CIA contractor just do your job and don’t ask about money, you should be happy knowing that the national security you provide is worth more than some socialist paycheck.”