New Drug Destroys Empathy, Promises Success
After years of clinical trials and long-awaited FDA approval, empdestroex™, America’s new wonder drug will be available by prescription tomorrow. Dr. Anton Crowley, the brainchild behind empdestroex, is very proud […]
US and North Korean leaders prepare for boxing match
After recent tweets and UN meetings, already escalated tensions went horribly awry. In a move reminiscent of Cold War era sporting events, North Korea and the United States will send […]
ISIS Rally in DC turns into fight between Alt-Right and ANTIFA
Today the Islamic State was recruiting at the National Mall in Washington, DC. A very brazen move on the part of the five individuals recruiting in the heart of the […]
Cassini Mission not so much a success, NASA hides Truth about 23rd
Today in an interview with Colonel Petey of the Earth Protection Agency over a very volatile situation developing in the cosmos. According to the Colonel “Earth is in very grave […]
Facebook Surveys Collect Data for CIA
Chairman Smith of the CIA thanked the developers of ‘quirky’ personality tests for social media platforms such as Facebook, for gathering indispensable information from the vast amount of people who […]
Congress to bug light bulbs
Senator Martin McFly urged Congress today not to go ahead with Senator Biff Tannen’s bill to implant hidden video cameras and microphones into the light bulbs of the American people. […]
CIA hired prostitute talks about Kim Jong-un’s secret weapons programs
A CIA contracted prostitute in North Korea has gained the trust of Kim Jong-un. Apparently, the leader does a lot of pillow talk. The prostitute, who uses the name Dorothy, reportedly […]
Teacher Arrested for Calling a Boy ‘He’
Sarah Adams, a third-grade teacher in North Olmsted, Ohio is facing bias-motivated criminal charges in Cuyahoga county. Charges were pressed against the public school teacher when the parents of one […]
Senator Makes Call to Arms Against Federal Reserve then Commits Suicide
The Federal Reserve is a privately owned banking system which controls our nations currency and is not under the jurisdiction of the U.S. government, it is controlled by the bankers […]
CEO of Major Pharmaceutical Company Shocks the World
Dr. Severin Swan, CEO of Rock Holdings, one of the worlds largest pharmaceutical companies, stated to the press yesterday, “I was visited by God himself last week and he showed […]