Which way to Wonderland

The eccentric billionaire, Ernest Segal, has recently opened up one of his private islands to the public, for those who can pay to play. The controversial playground for adults, aptly named Wonderland, offers an array of activities for the death-defying thrill seeker, and is a virtual heaven on earth for the avid drug user. The island itself has very few laws and no police force, though one is excepted to live and let live while staying there.

As for the attractions on the island, there is a small hill made of cocaine that can be played upon like a sand dune. The stunning heroin filled Zen garden in the middle of the island offers a peaceful experience for the yogi in you. Grover forest is a 200 acre field of multiple marijuana strains that have never been cut down and never will be, the buds, like fruits, can be picked and enjoyed. Also in Grover forest you will find psychedelic mushrooms, and many other psychedelic plants growing wildly. Treat yourself to one of the several swimming pools and whirlpools filled with assortments of alcoholic beverages, and a couple filled with liquid LSD, of course the LSD is heavily diluted so one does not trip his face completely off. Though if tripping your face completely off is what you’re looking for, a simulated rainfall of highly concentrated LSD occurs in a specific section of Grover forest hourly. If you feel like sweating it out in one of the many saunas you’ll find a trough of opium that can be thrown onto hot coals, a platter of DMT is also available, but is not recommend save for the seasoned user. If you’re looking for something a bit more synthetic, look no further than the gumball machines which are filled with everything from Adderall to Xanax, or you could visit Lego village where the island made Lego’s are made of the same.

If you can afford a trip to the island, come take a trip with Ernest Segal. If you decide to visit Wonderland, please remember to leave all tobacco products at home, as you will immediately be expelled from the island with no refund if you are caught smoking.