What’s being called the lawsuit of the century is set to take place on the world stage, live from sunny Las Angeles. The hot button theme among coffee houses and vegan restaurants will have its day in court, but this time it will take the shape of the defendant. Recently in the wide world of strange, many a men who felt like they were women inside, decided that they actually wanted to be women on the outside, and after doing so a handful of them thought it would be a good idea to compete in women’s sports, not surprisingly they’ve been quite successful. Though for several women who feel like men, who then switch on over, playing contact sports once men doesn’t work out so well. Some of them however, decide to get all dolled up and strut their stuff for the cameras, and unsuspecting hetero men staring back. I’m not sure, nor do I care, but I’m guessing that some lawyers and such have duked it out in court in order to ensure that those former men, and women, would be allowed to do what they do. Well it’s a new day, which means a couple of lawyers are going to charge some folks an arm and a leg to fight over some other ridiculous sort of thing. A man named Josh Owens is suing Tipsy Tata’s gentlemen’s club, for emotional distress after attending his bachelor party there. Owen’s explains:
Your bachelor party is supposed to be something you remember having a great time at, for the rest of your life. It’s the last time you really get to party with the boys, well the last time they pay for it at least, anyway it’s supposed to be fun. After a night drinking at the casino my buddies decided to take me to a strip joint, I didn’t really want to go but they insisted, of course they didn’t exactly have to twist my arm. When we got there we took some shots, did some lines, and watched the dancers for a bit, and then my buddy Kyle decided to buy me a private dance. Kyle asked the manager who the biggest freak working that night was, he told him that it was a girl named Gotcha. Gotcha took me into the back room and started dancing for me, you know how it goes. I was really drunk and yeah I kinda liked it, she wasn’t bad-looking really, just quite tall. She did some really crazy moves, and while she was doing one of them I felt something smack the bottom of my chin. I looked and bursting out of Gotcha’s bikini was a massive erection, I couldn’t believe it. I ran the hell away from that dude as fast as I could, I ran right into a table and fell down, and then I started puking everywhere. My friends asked me what was wrong so I told them. After that they demanded their money back, but the owner denied them stating that Gotcha was legally a she. After that a fight broke out, I haven’t been the same ever since. If I see a girl wearing a bikini I start to geek out, like a soldier having a flashback, and sometimes I just cry. And that’s just one example, a lots changed, I see a shrink three times a week for God’s sake. Last Firday I took my lunch break a little early, when I was leaving my boss came up behind me and said, ‘gotcha,’ I lost it, I started smashing things will screaming ‘God no,’ I didn’t even know what happened when I came to. It was around that time that I decided to sue the shit outa that sleazy strip joint.
The judge in the case favored with the plaintiff and awarded Josh Owens ten million dollars. Gotcha is still working at Tipsy Tata’s and though she is still called a she, she has to inform clients that she has a penis. Josh and his wife have since moved to Belarus.