Donald Trump, Kathy Griffin, and a Librarian

A Kathy Griffin fan recently came forward with an outrageous claim that has many people scratching their heads. Shirley Holmes, a 39-year-old librarian from Pasadena CA, says that Kathy Griffin is, in fact, Donald Trump, and that she has irrefutable proof to back her up. Holmes put the word out last month in hopes of selling the video proof that she claims to have of Donald Trump emerging from am elaborate Kathy Griffin suit. The story got picked up by an unknown but reputable news source called The Fringe Factor and interviewed Shirley for an exclusive 45-minute episode on the perplexing subject. In the interview, Holmes states:

I was out to dinner at a really up-scale restaurant in Washington when I saw Kathy Griffin sitting and talking to some really important looking gentlemen at a table in the back. It was really hard to make her out from where I, and everybody else in the restaurant, was sitting but when I did realize that was her a watched her intently because oh my gosh I’m such a huge fan, and I’ve never actually seen a celebrity in real life. After trying to see what she had ordered I noticed her start to pull at her own throat pretty roughly for about a minute before she got up and rushed to the bathroom. I thought it was strange that had happened and found it even more strange that 2 of the 4 men she was sitting with got up and followed her. Being the curios person that I am, and also being the biggest Kathy fan in the world, I got up to follow her also. I noticed that she had run into the men’s room which was a bit odd but I followed right in after her. When I got in there I saw her at the back sink yelling “get this damn thing out of me,” and the two men pulling at her shoulders. I got really scared and ran into one of the stall’s without any of them seeing me. It was a good thing I hid because right after that one of the men said to the other “clear the room and take the door.” The man started kicking in each door to the stall’s, luckily this being a five-star restaurant there wasn’t much space for him to see me if he tried to look under the door and being as skinny as I am I was able to squeeze behind the door right before he kicked it in. After everything looked clear I started filming Kathy through the crack and I almost fainted when I saw what happened next. As clear as day light Kathy Griffin’s face was ripped right off of her head. I had no idea what was going on, I had to force myself as hard as possible not to scream when I saw my favorite comedian’s face hit the ground right outside the door. I kept trying to see if Kathy was alright, I just figured she had some weird new makeup thingy on and needed to get it off, I had no idea. Then I heard Kathy’s face say “get it out, get it out for God’s sake get it out” as I saw the men pulling at her mouth. I still couldn’t make out her face but I saw that her hair had become more orange and then her face let out a groan and during that groan her voice digitized and then turned into another voice, a man’s voice, and a very familiar one at that. That’s Donald Trump’s voice, what the hell is going on I thought. After the two men said “sir, are you okay” I saw Donald Trump still wearing the dress Kathy had on say “I’m fine, I’m fine, how much do we pay for those damn things anyway?” All three of them then laughed as Donald Trump went on saying, “God this sure is fun walking around telling everyone how much I hate myself, this really is a great way to study my enemies, and the tits aren’t half bad either hahaha.” In the video you can see that my hand is shaking like crazy but I kept filming, after a while the two men told president Trump that they needed to put the face back on him to get him out of there, but he didn’t need the voice modulator. After they put the face back on him they left the bathroom like nothing had happened. As soon as the door closed and I was alone I started to cry, hysterically. After I got myself together I went back to my table grabbed my purse and left. And that’s that, now I just want to get my video into the right hand’s, and yeah I want to get paid handsomely for it.

A few days after Shirley Holmes told her story to The Fringe Factor her family notified the police that she had gone missing. A week later Shirley has still not yet been found. Her family became worried when they noticed that the contents of her Facebook page had been deleted, and all that remains is an eerie picture of Kathy Griffin as her new profile picture.