Civil War!

Antifa began and ended the modern American civil war today when they invaded the headquarters of the alt-right in Little Rock Arkansas. Some 500 members of antifa gathered from all across the country and descended into the small town of Little Rock, there waiting for them within their stronghold were nearly 200 members of the alt-right. Leaders of antifa organized its members into sloppy regiments stretching through the fields surrounding the alt-right. As they drew closer they began to shout hoping to intimidate the alt-right into submission and then those with firearms in antifa fired upon its nemesis. After the first initial gunfire a few words could be heard coming from behind the barricade where the alt-right was stationed, ready, aim, fire screamed the grandmaster of the alt-right. A thunderous roar filled the air as the alt-right opened fire back at its adversary, the orders repeated once more until the grandmaster of the alt-right shouted fire at will! Fully automatic gunfire could be heard as members of antifa dropped like flies onto the cold ground, after about 10 minutes of a brutal onslaught antifa retreated into the surrounding woods.

The members of antifa gathered and came to the conclusion that though they had some weapons they would never match the artillery and marksmanship of those on the alt-right, so they decided to use something the alt-right was short on, intelligence.  Antifa put pen to paper and came up with a fantastic plan, and though there plan was probably much more intricate than described all they really did was dress 7 members in blue jeans, flannel, and John Deere hats before they sent them behind enemy lines. The 7 members of antifa snuck into alt-right headquarters with ease while transporting their Trojan horse by truck. The Trojan horse they used were kegs of Budweiser beer that they had doctored. Though antifa was hoping to literally poison the alt-right they were unable to, so they spiked the kegs with the only thing they had, LSD.

Antifa watched as nearly all 200 members of the alt-right began to freak out, the alright-right had never taken anything like LSD, it was far different from the whiskey, beer, and meth they were used to. They didn’t know what was happening, some believed they were still at war and began firing erratically, others dropped their guns and professed their undying love to the fella next them, but one man, one man alone changed the game. A single man there pulled from his truck a small hydrogen bomb, who knows where he got it but he had it! The man was convinced that antifa had overrun their walls and were slaughtering all of his brethren. As members of antifa looked on they noticed this man and his bomb, they couldn’t believe their eyes, some began to flee and then a flash! The hydrogen bomb exploded killing all the members of the alt-right and the remaining members of antifa. George Soros who was reportedly on the scene checking up on his real life game of chess was also caught in the blast, nothing remains of him, nothing remains of any of them. You will never see anything about antifa or the alt-right in the news ever again as all of their leaders are no more, they bravely killed one another for our entertainment.