Feminists attack Washington Monument

The extreme feminist organization known as the New Order of Diverse Incredible Chicas or NODIC attempted to destroy the Washington monument Saturday by screaming at the 555 foot obelisk for three hours.

The spokeswoman of the group stated, “we believe that shouting is stronger than stone and we proved that when we saw the monument begin to shake a little bit, it was really hard to see but it really did start to tip over, if there were a few hundred more of us we would have toppled the damn thing.”

The group gathered Saturday morning around 10am and after forming a circle around the monument they shouted “we don’t need your penis no no we don’t need your penis!” for three consecutive hours. When asked why the group had gathered in hopes of destroying the monument they stated “we’re sick and tired of the stupid thing, I mean what is it a monument to? I’ll tell you, it’s a monument erected to praise men and their useless penises and what’s worse is that the monument is white! So really it’s there to praise the white men who have polluted this country with their rape culture.”

NODIC are not discouraged at their failure to bring down the monument, their hopes are actually quite high as they are convinced they broke it even just a little bit. They will continue to chant their, what they believe to be, magical chant at the obelisk every Saturday from 10am to 1pm until they bring it down. If you are in the Washington area they have invited you to join them considering you meet their requirements, “all are welcome, the more of us the better and stronger we are, I should add that no cis white males are welcome, we don’t want you toxic energy” NODIC’s spokeswoman said.

When asked how he felt about the situation President Trump said “twenty or so women standing around a statue screaming? I have no problem with that, I’m just relieved they’re not screaming at me.”